A Captive's Heart Beats Strong
by Lady-Larxene
Summary: [Thoki]Thor/Loki. Mature for later chapters. Loki's perspective of being a captive, He reflects on the beautiful moments he and Thor shared, but filled with pain of what will happen to him for his crimes against earth. (sorry for delay guys, life gets in the way.)
1. Prologue

_I do not own rights to Marvel/Disney.  
_

_Prologue_

A drop from above fell upon my cheek. I sighed but there was no sound. I cringed at the tightness of my metal mask and chains. My hands shifting

uncomfortably against the cold unforgiving bonds. My whole body sighed now as I let my feet sink along the wall. Promptly sitting myself on the hard floor. I

placed my hands or rather my metal case atop my knees and curled into a ball. Closing my eyes to the darkness, listening to the droplets fall around me, with

only my ever so quiet movements as a pleasant noise.

If I had any singe of feelings now, I'd cry. But where do I even begin. Last time I cried, it was for sentiment, should I try and imagine sentiment now? I

cannot repay sentiment, I do not even know sentiment.

I am only contradictions.

Oh how my eyes burn, and my chest aches. My thoughts are disheveled. I am feverish, but not hot. Lost in fragments. I have all the ways of emotion but

what do I feel?

I am not afraid nor am I calm. Yet I feel as if swayed by sweetness. I breath out my nose to calm my pulsing heart.

_One, Two, Three. Breath in again._

All I can hark on is old words and memories, on how all of this began. Oh let me have my sweet thoughts again. A warm memory, should I even be allowed

to have it? The night sky on earth, the warmth and loss of pain with- Gone again with the thought of where I am. My eyes open wide to my dark, wet

chamber. I hear footsteps from a guard outside. Like someone making sure I'm feeling the punishment.

Oh, I know perfectly well what I did "_wrong_". If there ever was a "_right_". It seems perfectly natural now that I will never know this "_right_" that people so

carelessly and easily flow into. This sense of right, _Ha_. Have I ever known it? Was it ever once in my heart as it lives in his?

All I know is I am this hideous monster given its rightful cage. I have never known a master, and all I've ever been shown is hate. But that's not true is it?

Alas.

I think now of my father, Odin. My father, that word without even a spec of what its meaning should be, with his impenetrable rage will surely thrust the

most cruel of punishments upon me. I will be made an example and all for what.

I was in a lie, everything I've ever known has been lies, even what little spec of kindness people of the court might have shown me in the past was for my

ability to lie. _Silver__-__tongued_, I am called. As if that's my only talent. Never given a chance to strive like he was. Yet I am still considered weak always

defeated in the shadow of his greatness, no matter how hard I try to fight everything, and have nowhere to turn no words to share, I imagine him

everywhere, I don't want to think of him let me be free, his blonde hair and eyes like sapphire.

. . .

Should I just sleep the rest of my time alive?

What more is there for me to say? What more is there for me to do?

Will I even be given a chance to speak? I never was before.

And there it is. A drop not from the wall, but from my heart, cascading down my cheek. Leaving a salty streak for others to follow. I let out a puff of air

into the metal now moistened by the warmth. Followed by another then another I couldn't control. If I can't stop this soon, I will be in uncontrollable sobs. My

heart will not heal from this. Maybe its better if I am to die.

My crying continues getting softer and softer as it goes another. The dampness of the cage seeming to match my disgustingly salty tears. I hate this. I

hate all of this. Let someone come so I can be given the hate I deserve. Tell me I am wrong, tell me I will die, just don't leave me like this.

I finally control myself enough to stop. Unable to wipe away the moisture atop my cheek I lay on my side facing the wall away from the entrance. My eyes

close again. I let out hot air from my nose and sleep.

Thanks for Reading


	2. Chapter One

**One**

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There are many times when you could say this all began. Childhood, teen years, the betrayal, even start with my time on earth. Maybe there are too many

ways to start, and I should just never start at all. But alas I am here, and I do dwell on these pasts. So I'll begin briefly with my way to earth. I cant

remember strongly what happened as I fell from Thor's hands, besides being calm. And then nothingness. A dark voice, which I know now as the Chitari,

creeping into my mind and telling me of all the things I've dreamed. Power, Glory, and the most hidden secret of mine Love. Not even the feeble minded hell

bent army Chitari could find my real dreams. Not that I would ever let anyone know, I fight to not even let myself dream of these desires sometimes. Once I

met this army, and we made our plan I was under their spell. The Tesseract being an object of such magnitude made me its slave. Any hate or pain I felt

before was greatly increased by that of over a thousand bilge snipes. Never heard of them? They are disgusting creatures.

What matters most however is my time on earth. It is why I am here, in this cell. Locking in metal bonds, and if I could hurt from cold a pain most others

feel, I would be feeling the harsh sting like the one in my heart.

So to really begin, lets start with my capture in Germany by the great Captain, Widow, and Man of Iron coming in swiftly to save eighty or so people who

don't even matter. My plow for attention, maybe he'll come to save his earthlings now. As I dug into the skull of a mans eye. A torrentous number not

necessary, but fun. To let off some steam, to ease my tension was all I really needed. However, once giving orders and telling the mortals of their hopeless

"freedom" I was swiftly defeated and cornered and all sides. They bound me and hoisted me to their ship.

Whilst aboard their black sky ship, They try and get my attention. While I try and plan ahead. Captain likes to act like I have guilt, and Man of Iron likes to

stare. I begin thinking of all the terrible things I could do to them. Stabbing, piercing, blood, bursting, but then I heard him.**BAM****.**

A crash of thunder and bright light outside. I sink into my chair before I can realize my motion.

The Captain calls to me, "Scared of a little lightening?"

"I'm not overly fond of what follows." I state back, keeping my eyes fixed on the windshield. Given only a moment, a thud and slam atop the ship are

bellowed into are small hollow cavity and as swiftly as the door to the sky ship open Thor has grabbed me and shoots me with him into the crisp air and away

from the ignorant mortals.

While enjoying this brief moment of being in his arms, I open my eyes to be promptly slammed against the ground underneath him. He stays atop me as if to

frighten me. I settle underneath his weight, his knees on both my sides.

We stare at each other for what feels like hours. He then backs off suddenly and I can realize the great amount of pain Im in. I sit up, trying not to show any

weakness or grimace and we begin to hostile words. He begins like Odin would, blaming and screaming at all the dreadful things I've done. I can see the pain

in his eyes, yet I feed off of it. Everything I say getting him closer to hurt, I want to see his tears. Those glorious tears, let me see you weak. He grabs me

again, and slams me against a wall. The pain shooting through my spine and again he goes to physical confrontation; unable to handle our argument with

words. Tell me beautiful words, Oh tell me of my fallacies.

And that's when it happened. As I caught my breath from the impact of the wall, he let me catch a moment of vulnerability with him. His eyes catching rays

from the moon. A stand of hair in his eyes.

Releasing his hand on the scruff of my collar, brushing my chest with his fingers.

"You give up this poisonous dream,' His deep voice aches, 'You come home." He cries. Staring straight into my heart. I wanted to say, "Only with you", but

instead I say "I have no home."

His face lunges towards mine. Getting ready for a painful impact I wince and shut my eyes. His hand moves from my chest to my hair and pulls me into an

embrace. Our lips hard against each others. I open my eyes suddenly. His eyes shut, his brows scowling. His lips so tender against mine, his fingers

interlacing into my black hair. I give way. Our lips completely eclipsed in each others. Biting and sucking for dominance. His force pushing me hard against

the wall.

"Ahhh. . .Loki. . ." His deep voice echoes into my ears. It sets me a fire and our tongues begin to dance. Before we realize our hands are underneath each others

tunics and I can feel him hard against my leg.

In the moonlight, in his pain. He realizes what crime has been done. A crime I could live in for die for. And he gently stops our embrace, before exploding

backwards. Don't let me go I plead, but only a nervous breath comes out. He turns away for a moment to catch himself, the obvious emotions circulating his

mind.

_What __have __I __done__, __What __would __father __think__, __I__'__m __angry furious __but __I feel __. . ._

His hand on my cheek again as he draws near, the friendly finger in my hair. His face so close to mine, Can I live in this moment?

I close my eyes to breath in his scent, He speaks, "You listen to me." in his deep tone that rattles as it moves and He's gone. My eyes open to the now empty

space. My body still feeling forced against the wall.

The ignorant Man of Iron took him away and they fight like peasants on the ground below, taking down trees and shining bright rays of light to the sky. As I

sit myself atop the hill holding my cheek.

My ear is still warm, and my face is hot. "Oh I'm listening brother." I mewled and lay my aching body on the cold grass. The dampness soaked into my hair

cooling the warmth of my skin. I grip tight to the grass and rips shreds. I gaze at the sky to clear my mind, but it only causes more agitation.

I feel a sickness inside me growing. I am a child of naught. I cover my face and feel the now cold leather twinge against my hot skin and clear my thoughts.

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Thanks for reading, More to come, please review~


	3. Chapter Two

**Two**

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After many moments of still silence, the mortals and Thor take me back to their sky ship. My alone time is over. Its back to playing the part of "bad guy".  
Even so, gentle moments with Thor I so dream of. His hair hot and wet to his face, deep noises that only gods could dream of making, let me have it I laugh.

Let me rule these moments in my smile in its usual thin outstretched line across my face. Scaring all the little S.H.I.E.L.D. agents guarding me. I feel so pleased with myself on this ship.

I spot a glance at the monster they brought aboard. Their Bruce Banner, I shall have to play with his mind for sure. A monster in a tightly enclosed and poorly  
guarded ship. followed by an arrogant Man of Iron, a man lost in time, a red-haired murderess with the heart of blood and so many like meaningless minions to be destroyed.

I was thrown into my glass cage, to be watched at all sides. A cage not made for me. They think they're so clever. I will wait here and play their little game until my fleet arrives. Until then I can dream my dreams, and have my sweet succulent alone time. I begin to laugh, Fury staring me down with his threats. His desperation is thrilling. I have so many on a string in puppet show on parade. So easy to control, to rule. Fury leaves with an offhand comment I ignore. I sit alone and wait for others to arrive, to challenge.

Camera one is facing my front, Camera two is facing my back. A 30,000 feet drop beneath my feet. Oh I'm trembling in my boots. So much useless technology, I sigh.

"Someone come entertain me", I yawn to camera one. I can feel tension rising on the ship. Comments of my happy presence on the ship arising. The mortals getting more and more dissatisfied with each other. What a game.

The entrance opens to the deck where my chamber lies. And hair so familiarly blonde appears. His eyes as angry as ever.

_ Mmm __this __should __be __good__. _He presses hard at some levers before rushing forward. He released the door to my chamber quickly stomping in haste, the door closes behind him, stopped only by his cleverly placed hammer. before I can mumble any spells or even react. He pulls me close and grabs my face.

"Why?! Why here brother?!,' a flush across his face growing, 'Why all of this pain?! You will not win, no one can win!" He begins to shake me in his rage. My eyes stay their usually irreverent emeralds of old. My smile staying in its proper place. He's obviously heard of what I've been up to, by that Fury character.

_I __will __not __be __broken__. __I __will __not __falter__. _He begins to scream again, words pleading for me to stop all of this, stop this madness, come home, and words of warmth, of mourning. Dreams, All dreams. He stops, one of his hands on my shoulder, one on my neck. His eyes looking for an answer somehow hidden on my face. I laugh at the sincerity he's letting me see. Like his embraces on the hill have changed my heart. He slaps me suddenly catching me off guard, but still one hand holding on tightly to me.

"You think you can break me? You have arrogance brother" I retort looking away in the direction of the impact. "I've been too far, I have to much purpose-"

"What purpose,' He interrupts, 'could you have to with people you care not for. This isn't about earth, this isn't about power."

"I mean to rule this world" I state fiercely, my face still stinging as I face him. I struggle a bit to remove his hold but he remains firm. A hold I cannot escape. I feel on the edge of tears but I control myself.

"Please.' His eyes glazed like windows to my frosted birth-world. "I cannot beg anymore than this, I have no words left to say, save for select words I shall not use. You are my brother-

"I am not your brother, I never was." I state coldly. His pleading making him all the more beautiful every second. Let me break you. The eternal ocean of your eyes cascading ever inch of my being. I let out a harsh sigh and try to push him away again. His eyes fixed on the floor, like when I falsely told him of fathers death so long ago, but alas his grip stays far stronger than mine. _Look __at __me __when __I __mean __to __vex __you__. _

"Just leave brother. Leave like I've been left. In the shadow of your splendid _glory_. Hold tight to the thought of your arrogant beliefs, thinking I a happy sibling. I know not of this happiness you dream. A home of love? Hear you of the words you speak. You are but words. Empty threats of torment."  
His grip begins to tighten his eyes rising back to my face, flush across his cheeks again. I cannot stop this perpetuating affliction of harrows. I push against him more and more with my words, fighting for power, but he pushes me back farther and farther.

"Why protect others who jest at beings like us. Our power far that of any others. You are only strong in one way. Your heart is as weak as your mind. I could laugh at what you'll look like king, _Ha_ ruler of Asgard."

Step one, Step two, Wall. His force, his eyes burning into mine. His face hardly able to read. I've never seen him in this state. If I were fearful I would stop, but it is not in my nature. His fists are pushing hard against me, his fingers digging into the leather of my collar. Eyes set on mine.

"Nothing to say again Thor _Odinson__._ Full of wilted pride, I see. Why did you come to visit me? Hmm? To stare into my eyes all night as the mortals break amongst each other. Set on such an army are you I-

"I love you." Thor interrupted. I stop immediately, letting out a slight gasp. . .

"I beg-

"I love you." He states clearly again.  
"Stop." He commands. He closes the distance between us. His lips finding mine. I fight, but his force is obviously no match for me. I try to pull away but he bites at my lip when I try. I feel wetness at his cheek. He let a tear roll free. I mean to hark on this moment.

I begin for a word.

"Stop." He states clearly again. Going in for a much stronger kiss than the first, releasing one hand from my collar and pushing my head in towards his. Pulling strongly at my locks. The feverish nature of the kiss becoming unbearable. My heart is sinking, I'm reaching a dangerous vulnerable level. Our kissing progresses like on the hill. Pulling on armor, our heavy breathing in unison. I tug at his hair. This sets him off in heightened emotion and we sink to the floor. He pushes my leather tunic up, placing his hands all over my skin. I scratch at his bare arms, setting him off into another flurry of kisses and deepening moaning.  
"Loki. . .I can't . . . Ahhh. . . Unn. . ." Rumbles from a feeble mind losing all control.

Our mouths use to each others touch now, finding it much easier to take off our drapes while embraced. Our drapes, used as our surrogate bedding. The green and red intermixed as our bodies intertwine and sing. My breaths short, my eyes set on his. Love me, Kiss me.

He bites hard at my exposed neck as he begins his entrance into me. A pain I cannot describe, the least of all the pain I deserve. I breath sharply pushing away gently at his strengthening force.

"Thor. . .Ahhh. . . gentle. . ." I breath sharp into his ear. Our bodies moving faster against each others poisonous fluster. He speaks sweet nothings to me. Words Asgardian and foreign to mortal ears.

A push so deep I dig my nails down his back. He bellows and turns me around, taking complete domination of my hips. All I am able to do in this moment is hold myself on my elbows. My face lost in the cloth and drape on the covered floor. Our hot bodies, of sweet desire. The tingling in our bellies grew. His Nordic grunting and groaning, yet soft are his words. All of these sounds that will stay in my heart for years. He grabs a hold of my shoulder with his right hand the other gripping painfully into my hip. My slender frame no match for the muscular overture that is his beautifully toned demi-god physique.

"Ah..' I breath hard away from the ground, 'I. . .despise you. . . treacherous fool-born. . ." That did it. Hardly able to resist a moment of poison, I'll pay. He stops and flips me back to face him. With strength I've never felt.

"You will think wise, when you talk to those who control thy body. A fool-born, how you love your words." He lifted my legs as far back as he could squeezing my thighs as he pushing himself back inside. A stinging began of both torture and love. My heart beating faster as he embraced my mouth again. Our tongues colliding and breathing as strong as before. Our contrasts so bright against each-other. Pale skin to crisp tan, shimmering blonde to black as nior. These differences merging into blurs. I held strong to his hair and chest. Letting my fingers linger in strands and on his luminous skin. The drops of sweat gently moving across us. Like encasement in water, our shining like galaxies combining.

"I love you." He said again before kissing my neck. "I've always loved you." Hot breath entrancing my skin.

He began a pace that would leave airships jealous of speed. His moaning as loud as his sheiks in battle. His hands exploring me, mine gripping tightly at the cloth around; I could not speak, nor say words of provocation. We were eternally living in a moment of pure ecstasy. Bodies are now one. Pushing as hard as he could his hands holding me, piercing me for final moments. Leaving marks and scratches with whitened knuckles creating droplets of red. Until the sweet release that bodies must do in fatigue.

A climax of white light, exemplified by the now hot steamed glass, and white encasement. Our robes in shambles around us as we stayed fixed in our moment. One, Two, Three. Silence.

He began to caress my cheek, the tears flowing down atop me.

A drop from above, not of the sky. But of heartfelt innocent feelings in a heart of a man.

Before I could control it, my tears began as well. Of pain, of guilt, of sorrow, I do not know. I do know now however, that I lay with a man in crying desperation, in vulnerability standing higher than escalation of our site.

"I love you." This time my words; sending him into harder sobs. We held each other in fear of one of us losing this tender vulnerability. This sentiment. I weep for torment, I weep for arrogance, I weep for this time that will never be allowed again. Most of all I weep for going back. I care not who saw what was enacted. Our time together was ours and ours alone. I weep for the moment living in our hearts now yet allowed naught to move in progressive direction.

I wish I could say from then on we lived a happy life together. That we were made of beauty no one could damage. Yet these are lies. As my life being an eternal unforgivable lie. These things must end.

And they did. And so went on as we dressed each other, lingering kisses to the cheeks, wiping at streaks of salt on our pale cheeks.  
I watched longingly as these moments ended, and he left out the glass door, hammer in his hand. Out through the entrance to the chamber, looking back for a lifetime of harrows.

I love you was the last thing I said and I love you will be the last thing I can hope to feel.

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Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it.


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